Looking back, and forward

Ha!  Who wouldn’t want to explore?  There’s plenty out there, ya know?

This song takes on new meaning when I’m recollecting my past.  I saw the Stones back in the 70s, at the Forum in Los Angeles.  I’m thinking I went to that concert with my first husband, Danny, but really, I’m not sure.  I’m not sure about a lot of things in my past.  I just try to remember, and revel in the music as I hear it now, and as I remember listening to this song with my kids.  Good times.

This thing I’m doing now, reconnecting with people from my high school years – weird, and awesome.  I think Owen would be right there with me, had he lived to see this chapter.  I’m watching Nat when I talk about those years, and I’m unsure about what he’s feeling.  He just wants me to stay connected in whatever way I can, and I honor his sentiments.  This is May, and he’s acutely aware of my own particular worm hole into the ethers, and his, to that place that Owen lives in our minds, to that place we see Owen laughing and making jokes about the world at large.  God, we miss him.

In talking with people from my past through emails and phone calls, I’m reminded that life is circular – all rolled into this thing we call the present.  The memories of my old friends are welcomed, but not necessarily the same as what I recall.  And, while it’s comforting on one level, it’s disturbing on another.  Where was I, really, when we were living those lives?

I ask the same question when I recall the times of our family together.  And, I’m glad to say, “I was there.  I lived those times with you.  I loved being a part of your lives.”

Song for the night:  Sympathy for the Devil, Rolling Stones (I was about 14 or 15 when this song was released.  I have a special place for this song – part of it is attached to the movie, Interview with the Vampire.  Owen and I watched this movie together a bunch of times, and there was something there that we couldn’t articulate at the time.  Timelessness, maybe.  The idea of living beyond this life.  Whatever it was, we loved this song then…and now.)

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~ by Linda on May 15, 2009.

4 Responses to “Looking back, and forward”

  1. NOPE – It was me – 1970 First tour after they made their first “comeback” or after they took their 1st time-out. Dave St. John and Jimmie Hall were siiting 4-5 rows above us – I had just joined Thunper. Richard Bredice was ROADYING for them and this was the tour that eneded at ALTAMONT. From what Bredice sez, he barely got out alive — GOOD TIMES !!!

  2. Man if I could only type…

  3. The kids have just discovered ‘Paint it Black’ on Guitar Hero.

    Amongst the soft confines of a sunny summer living room, it’s hard to explain just how dark this material really seemed back then. It’s just been immersed into the fabric of our pop culture, and it seems so much safer now.

    I love the moaning guitar in Sympathy. Sometimes the expression of blackness has a lot to give.

  4. Thinking of you and holding you close in my prayers.
    My love is with you.
    Alison

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