11 Responses to “Every day is an anniversary…”

  1. This post contains so much. I have felt your absence greatly, but I assumed you were taking time to reflect (which you were), but to hear that you have actually made a move, and that the kids are living with you now is amazing. I do believe that the sense of family so close again, will lift your spirits daily! How wonderful to be able to hug Ruby and be close to her also!

    I can’t wait to hear about the house or living arrangements. Are you still near Petaluma or far away from it? I have so many questions, don’t I? It’s just so good to hear from you again, and to know that you are surrounded by those who love you.

    I know these anniversary days have been very difficult, but I am so glad that you feel you have a scenario that makes sense to you and Nat. I am very sorry for all that you suffered at the hands of the cold and callous police department, but once again I marvel at your determination and sheer true grit in your search for the truth.

    Consider yourself hugged, and know that you are very much in my heart always. I am excited about what the future holds for you and your family and loved ones.

    I heard something that really ministered to me the other day. It was that we can focus so much on the loss, that we forget to celebrate the life! I feel that sometimes that is what happened on the Grief Board. (Which doesn’t mean that we won’t ALWAYS mourn the loss. We certainly do.) It’s just that so many people camp there, and forget to celebrate the life. This wonderful blog is a celebration of the life of Owen. You have made him completely vivid to us-in all his wonderful ways. I feel I know him better than some of my friends, because you have captured his essence so beautifully in this wonderful tribute. Thank you for sharing the gift of Owen.
    I love you lady-Lonnette

  2. i know the pain of grieving takes time before the acceptance may happen.but just hang on and have faith in God.And soon the truth and mystery of the death of your son will be revealed.Don’t lose hope and believed in power of our loving God.
    In the middle of uncertainty God is always on our side to give us comfort and love.Just pray..

  3. The second year begins. When… you don’t know exactly. But what you do know is that you got through the first year, somehow.

    It’s not going to be easy, going forwards. But for any day that comes around the calendar, you have lived it once before. In the scale of things, that’s not a big comfort, but you must grab on to what you can.

    Take pride in coming so far. Altered, changed, wiser, sadder – yes, but infinitely stronger, too. It’s learning and strength you’d never want to have. But you have it, and so you use it – there’s no other choice to make.

    Good on yer, Linda, and spirits up.

  4. Linda, I’m so sorry. I just can’t think of more to say than to tell you I sympathize and hold you and your family in my heart. Hang in there.

  5. Linda, I am so with you on this journey. Thank-you for being beside me & helping me thru mine thru your blogs. Enjoy your new home & i echo every word sparkle said. lov sandy

  6. Linda, this is a beautiful, though sad and haunting post. I can relate to so much of what you write – thank you for sharing Owen in this way. I never knew him, and yet now do …

    It may surprise you to know that when we moved house about 18 months ago (we relocated to the coast) I too experienced great pain at leaving an area that someone I loved had known so well, lived in, and been happy in. I had an irrational fear that G wouldn’t be able to find me – wouldn’t know where I was. It distressed me – and yet G died in 1992.

    So, I took my favourite photo of G, and on the first day in my new home I walked around the house showing each room, where I now live, and the whole time I talked to G about how I felt – and how important it was for me, that G know where I was and could find me if needed.

    Life has moved on in 16 years – but love never fades and it is never less important with the passage of time. I know you will have “talked it through” with Owen – and I believe he can hear you.

    The anniversaries are always important – even 16 years later. I’m not mawkish, I don’t wallow, but I do always remember. The good thing is that as the years pass the sad days lessen and the joyful remembering becomes more frequent. I can never fully accept the loss of a loved one – but I have learned to live with the fact, I have come to terms with it.

    I feel sure that having no real closure because of not knowing exactly what happened to Owen, makes it more difficult for you to come to terms with. So many unanswered questions, so many fears. For this reason I hope with all my heart that the mystery of Owen’s death will be resolved; it can’t bring Owen back – but it may help you find the way to peace.

    Hugs for you.

  7. You’ve got so much going on right now and I don’t know if it’s good or bad. Varies from person to person, I guess.

    Right after my brother died my son got married and then a couple of weeks later is when Candace drowned. My head spins just thinking about it. I know I was a zombie going through all that. I still am some days. Busy work helps. Some days I just do what is easy, what I don’t have to use my brain for. Mopping, folding clothes.

    It seems as if the police would be more cooperative. It’s so difficult to get closure with the way things happened. Not knowing the exact date of death. Just that one thing would make it so much harder for me.

    But I’m listening. When I read your posts I think of Tool’s “Schism,” not all the lyrics but especially the part, “I know… the pieces fit.”

    A little off the subject, but I know you like Sting, Linda. I do too. Last night I had a dream that he came to my house and asked for advice on one of his songs. LOL. I asked “Why me” and he said, “because you are nice to ducks.”
    Then he turned into a duck. LOL.

  8. Kitty, that is a great dream! I once dreamt that I was a duck who had witnessed a crime. The authorities found me and made me testify. I raised my right wing and said, “Pank.”

    Linda, I hope you are doing okay…

  9. I had a dream once where I witnessed a crime, but I was a man in the dream and thought it was weird from that perspective. (being a man and all).

    Linda! It was good to see you guys while I was in town. I hope this upcoming year is easier for you guys than the last. You’re continously in my good hopes and prayers.

  10. thank you for sharing…

  11. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful son.
    I know your pain.
    I lost my beautiful 23 year old daughter 3-18-06
    Please visit my blog about my daughter at

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