The Quiet Knowledge

If you know stuff that no one else knows, and no one else understands, does that make you nuts?  Yep.  And, nope.  It makes you a person who knows stuff that no one else knows, nor understands.  That’s all.  A hard life, though.

Some of us know stuff.  We don’t ask to know (or maybe we do, but not in this time and space, in my experience).  Sometimes, we don’t want to know, hey, most of the time.  It’s there, in our faces, and we have to look at it, acknowledge it, live it.  We can make ourselves crazy looking at it, and reliving every word we ever said, every vision we ever saw.  Rarely, are we able to acknowledge it, before the words and the visions play themselves out.  Then, it’s too late to change anything.  I’m hoping that’s okay, in the larger scheme.  If it’s not, my life sucks.  I don’t think my life sucks, so I think it is, it just is.

A few things I will never regret:

  • Loving my family and my friends
  • Laughing
  • Knowing things before they happen
  • Getting to know my sons’ girlfriends
  • Loving Dave’s girls
  • Listening to music, and singing along
  • Living my life
  • Raising my children
  • Being my parents’ child
  • Being my brother’s sister
  • Being the wife of 3 incredible, though very different, men
  • Dedicating myself to recognizing “other-ness”
  • Observing and accepting differences, learning from them
  • Believing we are all unique, and therefore lovable
  • Crying in public
  • Screaming in my car
  • Planting new plants in new pots, or old pots, if that’s all that’s available
  • Recycling flowers
  • Listening to wind chimes
  • Looking at the night sky, without a timetable
  • Watching the surf, for hours
  • Loving animals
  • Listening to Nat and Owen plan an evening together, or a lifetime
  • Figuring out how to divide our time between several households (especially during the holidays)
  • Shutting someone down, when they are being cruel
  • Reminding young people to be kind, to be honest with themselves
  • Reminiscing with friends
  • Sharing stories with strangers
  • Feeling, even when it hurts
  • Escaping into books, or stories told around a campfire or a coffee pot
  • Sleeping late because I don’t want my dreams to end
  • Waking early because the sun is up
  • And, so much more

The quiet knowledge is the thing that sustains me.  It is the knowing, the acceptance, of things I can’t explain.  The quiet moments, when I just sit with what is, keep me here.  I don’t want to sit with what is, and I have only this.  So, please, universe, comfort me.

Song for the night:  Let it Be, The Beatles

http://youtube.com/watch?v=67J_66hdN-I

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~ by Linda on November 10, 2007.

One Response to “The Quiet Knowledge”

  1. The first line of tonight’s post reminds me of this quote I have up on my wall from one of my favorite books:

    “Sometimes I aint so sho who’s got ere a right to say when a man is crazy and when he ain’t. Sometimes I think it aint none of pure crazy and none of us pure sane until the balance of us talks him that-a-way. It’s like it aint so much what a fellow does, but it’s the way the majority of folks is looking at him when he does it.” — Cash, in As I Lay Dying

    xo

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