Sweet, sweet Helen

In the last 10 months of our lives in Washington, a young lady came to live with us.  Her name is Helen, and she was a bright spot in some very dark days.  I hope she is reveling in the bright spot that she is, and can be, everyday.

Owen knocked on our bedroom door one evening, as I was reading, and Dave was asleep.  He asked if Helen could stay with us for a few days, because she had nowhere safe to go.  I said sure, as safety is important and we always welcomed people into our home when they were in need.  Owen recognized vulnerability and felt people should have the right to feel safe.  He knew his family would make every effort to help Helen feel safe.

Helen and Owen were friends, and later, a couple.  They were not always comfortable with the being a couple part of their relationship.  Neither of them had clear pictures of their futures, so spent time just talking and laughing, but also crying and feeling out of control of their futures – together and apart.

Helen used humor in much the same way Owen did, as a mask for pain and loss.  Neither of them cared much for what others thought, as long as they could make them laugh.  The two of them laughed like two little kids, and fought like angry adults, often within minutes of each of those emotions, which rose to the surface frequently.

Housekeeping was a big deal in our home.  Not because we are clean freaks, but because it was something on which to focus, while maintaining a sense of self-care.  Both Helen and Owen had trouble at times with making their environment truly reflect their highest desires.  They had no problem, on the other hand, with trashing their bedroom, and being pissed off about having each others’ stuff in the way. 

Socks, socks were also a big deal.  They would sometimes wear each others’ socks without permission, and this caused a territorial issue, that often resulted in something simple…like doing the laundry.  They were learning how to take care of themselves, together, but also within the working context of a family that was already formed, and working hard to make ends meet (us).

Sometimes Helen and I talked in the kitchen about what might make things work better, and what things were standing in the way.  Sort of the like the elephant in the room.  You couldn’t look him straight in the eye, nor could you look away.  Owen was not the elephant, something else was.  That something else, is a thing for Owen’s and Helen’s history together.  I hope Helen has looked the elephant in the eye, and said no, I won’t go there again, I have more to give the world, more to give to myself…and the world has more to give to me.

Helen, you know what Owen felt about opening doors.  You wrote an entry in one of Owen’s journals, wherein you said, “I love to lay my head on your chest, just to hear your heart beat.”  This was an open door to Owen, and you were a part of hoping for a better future for the two of you.

We love you, Helen.  We want the best for you, and hope you are able to reach for the stars.  Owen thought of you, talked of you often, after we left Washington.  He always thought you two would meet again someday.  Surely, you will, but you have a lot of life to live before that time. 

You and I know why this song is meaningful.  Owen always did, and still does, want you to love again.

Song for the night:  http://youtube.com/watch?v=3OVUSCQwCX8

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~ by Linda on September 17, 2007.

4 Responses to “Sweet, sweet Helen”

  1. ‘A big part about loving – is letting go’ I am sure you have heard of this before, but I only state it again, because I sense you understand the need for Helen’s Departure.

    From what I gather, I do hope Helen’s heart knows no other love, but that for Owen, and at some point in the future, this love shall find its destination.

    And the song makes sweet sense…

  2. Hi: Could you at least give the title and the singer of the song, and then I can look it up myself, as I cannot make the Quicktime link work. Sorry to be a bother. 🙂 Thanks and Hugs-Lonnie

  3. I remember those days. I remember the way Owen (and his Mother) nurtured Helen and I now see the results of that nurturing when I occasionally see Helen on the street bound for positive changes and new self confidence—even in her sadness and missing of O.

  4. Okay, Lonnie, all fixed on this one, anyway. I’ve added the link just after the words, Song for the night, and will continue to do so. Whether or not you can see the video right on these posts may have something to do with what browser you use. I’m not sure what the problem is, but it could be the same with others, so I’ll just add both the link and the videos. Again, thanks for letting me know about this. L.

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