NOT too late

Did you miss an opportunity to apologize?  Did you hold tight to your message, just to later discover that your message was insignificant in the light of things that happened afterwards?  Did you rehearse what you should say, but didn’t?  Do you wish you could go back?

I could swear I posted tonight’s song a while back, but I can’t find it in a search of this blog.  Maybe I just listened to this song so many times on the radio and YouTube, that my memory captured the feeling, and my fingers, living in the moment, failed to add it to the blog.  This wouldn’t be surprising.

The first time I remember hearing this song was on my trip from Redding to Bellingham, the day after Dave’s mom died, about four months after Owen died.  I was conflicted about whether to drive north that day, but did, so Dave and his brothers could spend time together remembering their lives when they were young, and living with their parents - both gone, by the time I drove out of Barbara’s driveway.  My drive was lonely, and only music and memories kept me in the driver’s seat.  I was on my way to see Lea and Karma, and that, too, was motivation to stay on the road.

I’ve listened to this song many times since that day, often just in time to recall something important, something sweet about my life with Owen and Nat.  Nat and I talk about all the things we did and didn’t do, the things we did and didn’t say.  Being one who talks to the dead, I usually tell him it’s not too late.  My conversation with Owen continues, despite the fact that he’s not here to dispute my preaching - he most definitely would have something to add, something to dispute.  I don’t know how many other people talk to their dead loved ones.  It’s not something that everyone understands.  I’m not sure if Nat has the same affinity for this form of communication.  I hope he does.

I know plenty of people who think it’s too late to apologize once their loved ones have crossed over.  I’m here to tell you from personal experience, it’s not.  It’s not too late to apologize.  It’s not too late to say all those things you didn’t say when they were here with you.  The only limitations are your ideas about what’s in the here and now, and what’s in that space that allows us to transcend this physical existence.

Certain sounds, certain melodies take me away to a place of peace, comfort, and a greater knowledge.  That place is beautiful and sad, yet it makes me smile.  There’s a smile that comes across my face when I know that Owen knows.  And, everything is okay there.

Song for the night:  Apologize, One Republic (this is the original version, before Timbaland got hold of it)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=REsezs6cQRc

 

 

 

 

~ by Linda on April 19, 2008.