The Grownups’ Table

Did you grow up in one of those households where the kids all sat at “the kids’ table” and the adults sat at “the grownups’ table” for big family gatherings (mostly holidays)?  Well, I didn’t.  We had big tables in the years when we were all together (those holidays spent at our grandparents’ houses).  In years when it was just the four of us (Mom, Daddy, Emmitt, and me), our family dining table was plenty big for all of us, as it was made out of a door, with makeshift legs attached by my dad.  He was a handy guy…and frugal.

But, there were a few years when our kids sat at the kids’ table because we lived in smaller houses, with smaller tables, and had to make do.  Why we thought the adults should sit together at the real table, and the kids should gather around the folding card tables, I can only attribute to having been corrupted by movies depicting this scenario.  Why didn’t we mix kids and adults together at each of the tables?  Often, these gatherings included friends who weren’t as accustomed to carrying on kid conversations, as those of us in the family.  So, conversation, itself, was probably the motivation for the division of the generations in those years.  And, spilt milk, of course.

I’m not sure what our other choices might have been, though.  All of us sitting on the floor together?  That could have worked, but our kids would probably have felt humiliated if their friends knew.  So, we did the traditional “grownups’/kids’ tables” and moved on.  Thankfully, those years were few.

I’m thankful for so much this year, and few can understand why.  Owen, our 20-year-old son, died a few months ago, and this is our first Thanksgiving without him sitting at any table.  How can we be thankful?  Because we have each other to help in continuing on.  And, because Owen would want it so (as long as he gets to sit in spirit at the grownups’ table, that is).

You could just watch this old rerun of That 70s Show on a rented DVD from your local video store (or buy it), or you can watch it in 3 parts here.  I searched for songs tonight about thankfulness, but came up short - miniature, in fact.  Songs about thankfulness are in short supply, and those that exist on YouTube, are not all that inviting.  These 3 videos are full of embarrassing family situations, bad jokes, politically INcorrect comments, and stuff with which we are all familiar.  Very American.  Very dysfunctionally American.  Aren’t we all dysfunctional now?  Yes, and that’s why it’s the norm – the American norm, anyway.  So, sit back, relax, and take less than 30 minutes to watch 3 parts of a television show that brought our family lots of laughs in recent years. 

Or not.  Maybe you’re watching the timer, waiting for pies to come out of the oven.  I’m not.  I’m waiting to continue my list of things about which I’m thankful.  Missing Owen is not one of them.  But, not missing him would be dreadful.  If tomorrow presents itself with a kids’ table, I will sit there, listening for Owen’s commentary.  

Song for the night (which should be called video for the night, but habits are hard to break):  That 70s Show, Thank You, Parts 1, 2, and 3

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RpgYXNK9J34&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pKamV82wuTo&feature=related

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_qowEeXozqg&feature=related

~ by Linda on November 21, 2007.